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The Biffy Bidet

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Let's get personal.

In the frenzy of coronavirus prep and FOR SOME REASON the shortage of toilet paper in stores nationwide, a few of my friends have joked about how my household is not in need of such panic.

Because we have a Biffy on every toilet!

Several years ago, I was going through a “no store-bought shampoo and conditioner” stage and devouring natural DIY blogs like they were dark chocolate-covered peanut butter cups. 
It was on one of these articles about reusable toilet paper…

– yes, reusable toilet paper – ICKKK, RIGHT? – 

that I came across many uses of the word “Biffy,” such as “Life has never been the same since we got our Biffy,” and “We can’t live without a Biffy.”  Intrigue got the best of me and I click-click-clicked my way into the TMI headquarters that is bidet ownership.

Imagining these crazy tree-huggers spraying their hinies 
instead of using toilet paper –
well, I hadn’t laughed that hard in a looooong
time and told my husband about it….
who saved the information and surprised me about four months later with my very own Biffy for Christmas.
(gentlemen, take notes) 

After picking ourselves up off of the rug from rofl-ing, we locked eyes and knew we needed to immediately install this thing.

Our lives have not been the same since.

What the heck is a Biffy?

Without too many grody details, the Biffy is an easy-to-install attachment that you secure to your home toilet, (although yes, there are travel bidets available, too –
I warned you, it’s a whole new world.)

Once installed, it is like taking a mini shower every time you use the bathroom and cuts WAAAAY down on your family’s need for toilet paper.  There are many other benefits and you’re welcome for not going into graphic detail – the amazon reviews will tell you everything else you need to know.

What started as a joke present became a way of life.  We have become full-blown bathroom snobs since this epic Christmas day, adding the bamboo Squatty Potty seen above as another holiday gift three years ago.

Some of my family members and friends have installed their own Biffies and here’s what they anonymously 😉 have to say about it:

“The Biffy has the undeniable ability to sanctify one’s
booty, bowels and beyond.”
– Joel

(my son does not wish to remain anonymous)

“TP shortage? Psssst.  We don’t need to worry.”

“Never run out of ‘clean’ again!! 
Instant satisfaction that saves the paper!”

“The Biffy prevents bladder infections when used regularly. 

The swinging lever has a handy pressure knob, so you are in control of how, ummm . . . intense . . . your potty session is.  Let me just say that if you hit the lever accidentally, it will spray all the way to the ceiling at its highest setting. 

I guess some of us need more . . . help.

Anyway, I have been asked about this so many times I figured it was a great way to start this new section of my blog:

Works for Me – Things I Love

In this new section, I will be sharing with your some of the things I am always answering questions about.  I figured this would be a nice way to keep all of those things in an organized space. 

If you have questions about our Biffy experience, hit me up on Instagram or Facebook or email

I have some fun toilet related crochet posts coming in the next few days so stay tuned and share with a friend!